Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
