She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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