i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize