The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize