what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
