I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
