What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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