Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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