im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
