She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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