Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I have post one night stand depression
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
