She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
