It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
