you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You ate ashes out of my bong
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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