Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
