I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
