Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
