The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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