Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
