Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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