the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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