i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
