Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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