im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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