Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
