you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
