You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
