you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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