I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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