Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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