Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
