dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
