We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
