i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
