Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.

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(516): View more from New York

Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch

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(630): View more from Illinois

Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.

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(562): View more from California

at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.

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(407): View more from Florida

someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths

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(972): View more from Texas

I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time

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