shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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