It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
and she was petting her beer can
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
