So drunk its hurt
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
this hospital has no fireball
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
