Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
