i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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