So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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