is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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