Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
