im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
