That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
