no, he came in my armpit
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
