I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
