so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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