Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
you're hired as official boob wrangler
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
