he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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