So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
